What I have begun to experience as I continue my focus and practice of fast(ing) for 2015 can be summed up in one word – clarity.
But as I have contemplated the words to write for this month’s reflection they come like molasses – slow and thick.
And I also write with a sense of uncertainty and hemmed in inability as Paul did when he spoke of a third heaven experience that could not be spoken of and of the prohibitions which Jesus put on fasting in Matthew 6 “when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to others that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen;”
So I can only share a bit.
But I will tell you that it is more than a bit! It is only the tip of the iceberg!
The clarity that I have been experiencing as I have fasting has been hard, it has been edgy, it has been painful, it has been a clearing up/out kind of clarity.
And I am realizing that this clarity is the kind of clarity is a clarity which strips away the layers of accumulating doubt, fear, self-pity, and a host of other things that dim and darken my spiritual vision and affects my faith and trust in God. It has become a clarity which is beginning to show me, as I spoke of last month, of the distance between me and the Lord.
But I continue on. Because the distance, the gap has closed and my hunger for God, God himself is something that is coming back and the “things” – the reality, the truth – about me – about life – about God is growing sharper, clearer, and alongside the clarity of God’s gracious spirit
This Matt Maher song captures much of what I have been re-learning, re-experiencing this past month with this fasting.
What a journey it has become…