As part of my One Word 2015 work I made a decision to journal about what was happening as I fasted.
As I noted in my initial post “I will simply share after the fact about my experiences and what I believe I am being taught; shown; changed by.” I am not sharing the details of my fasting – the what and for how long.
This month’s journal was a rambling set of verse, links, music, excerpts, and a photo that I took. Getting started was hard because my practice of fasting is not limited to a set period like Lent but to an entire year. What does that look like? How often am I to fast? And from what?
Here are selective excerpts from the journal about My One Word experience so far.
What and how often am I to fast?
From what am I to fast?
Why am I fasting?
“What does God want to accomplish in me through this practice?”
I am open to hearing from you on this point?
How am I to begin?
“Silence is the absence of intentional sound. Intentional sounds are the things we turn on, such as TVs and iPods; words spoken or heard in a conversation; music such as humming or tapping; and the noise of tools, keyboards, or other objects. Sounds that remain are unavoidable. So silence is purposeful quiet. Some find it unsettling.” George Hoffman
Music – Jason Gray “Fear is Easy, Love is Hard”
Silence – why are we afraid of silence? Maybe we feel we will get left behind if we don’t speak out. Speak out from what and why?
Too many words – too little meaning…
As I re-read Peterson (The Contemplative Pastor) I am sensing the anxiety and uncertainty just below the surface which has had me edgy and uncertain and rushed and anxious and … angry and very impatient.
“Put down the pixel, the screen, the cut and paste
and pick up the pen and paper…”
So I did and I got lost… in thought(s) of the good kind
and I thought and I listened to the Spirit
and I wrote…
Fasting creates listening creates thinking creates attention to…creates listening
The Still, Small Voice of Love
Many voices ask for our attention. There is a voice that says, “Prove that you are a good person.” Another voice says, “You’d better be ashamed of yourself.” There also is a voice that says, “Nobody really cares about you,” and one that says, “Be sure to become successful, popular, and powerful.” But underneath all these often very noisy voices is a still, small voice that says, “You are my Beloved, my favor rests on you.” That’s the voice we need most of all to hear. To hear that voice, however, requires special effort; it requires solitude, silence, and a strong determination to listen. That’s what prayer is. It is listening to the voice that calls us “my Beloved.” Henri Nouwen
From my pastoral colleague Casey Fitzgerald, the story of Samuel listening catches my attention. How did Samuel learn to listen?
I am just beginning…