A Review of Stephen Arterburn’s Healing is a Choice

Do You Want to Get Well?

In a revised edition of a previously written work, Christian counselor and author Stephen Arterburn gets personal as he unpacks the process of healing we all need in Healing is A Choice: Ten Decisions that Will Transform Your Life and Ten Lies That Can Prevent You From Making Them.

They are, respectively:

1. The Choice to Connect Your Life (to others and healing communities and groups) vs. the belief (lie) that “All I need to heal is just God and me.”
2. The Choice to Feel Your Life (acknowledge and process your feelings) vs. the belief (lie) that ” Real Christians should have a a real peace in all circumstances.”
3. The Choice to Investigate Your Life in Search of Truth vs. the belief (lie) that “It does no good to look back or look inside.”
4. The Choice to Heal Your Future vs. the belief (lie) that “Time Heals All Wounds.”
5. The Choice to Help Your Life (by yourself) vs. the belief (lie) “I Can Figure this out by myself.”
6. The Choice to Embrace Your Life vs. the belief (lie) “If I just act as if there is no problem, it will finally go away.”
7. The Choice to Forgive vs. the belief (lie) that “Forgiveness is only for those who deserve or earn it.”
8. The Choice to Risk Your Life (and face your pain) vs. the belief (lie) “I must protect myself from any more pain.”
9. The Choice to Serve (others and God now) vs. belief (lie) “Until I am completely healed and strong, there is no place for me to serve God.”
10. The Choice to Perserve vs. the belief (lie) “There is no hope for me.”

The personal touch on this revised edition of this book, which includes an end of chapter study guide, that has many helpful exercises, is Arterburn’s journey from marriage through divorce and back into remarriage, though he does not spend a great deal of time on the details of each phase.

Time and again Arterburn stresses that while healing ultimately comes from God, each of us has to continuously make the choice to want to heal and be well. He stresses the ability and desire of God to help a hurting person make healthy, though often difficult, decisions to embrace healing and take the steps necessary to move forward.

Arterburn does not throw faith around in this book as a simplistic fix to a person’s deep inner wounds. Rather, he admits, through his own personal experience (without sounding self-aggrandizing) that faith is a way to navigate the hard places, such as forgiving the one who has harmed or hurt you.  There were many important and helpful statements that I underlined in my iBooks version of this book and two that I found to be helpful and perspective giving were the twenty personal inventory questions that appear in the chapter detailing the the third choice: Investigate Your Life in Search of Truth and the wonderful affirmations of chapter 11.

With the study guides this would be a wonderful book to use in group study.

I rate this book a ‘great’ read.

Note: I received an eBook version of this work via the Thomas Nelson’s blogging review program Booksneeze in exchange for a review. I was not required to write a positive review.

Review of Mitchell Yockelson’s Grant: Savior of the Union

As part of Thomas Nelson’s The Generals series, that are short introductions to well-known and not so well known American Generals, Mitchell Yockelson’s recent tome on Ulysses S Grant is a good addition to the series. (A series that is edited by Stephen Mansfield.)

This book is a very sympathetic portrait of Grant and Yockelson that is made clear in his frequent defense of Grant with regard to his (Grant’s) drinking. He argues that Grant’s problem was not alcoholism but that alcohol’s effect on him was quite strong. It is also somewhat an uneven treatment of Grant’s life though given the length of book it is impossible to adequately cover both a successful general and President in such a short tome. Much of Yockelson’s focus is spent, understandably so, on Grant’s service as an Union General during the American Civil war.

What I appreciated about this book is that Yockelson does a good job of providing primarily younger readers (I would say middle school and up) with a readable introduction to this general turned President. And if you are interesting in a short well researched (the bibliography for the book is very good) life of Grant, this would be a good starting point.

I rate this book a ‘good’ read.

Note: I received a copy of this book from Thomas Nelson’s review program, Booksneeze, in exchange for a review of it. I was not required to right a positive review.

Related articles

• GRANT: Savior of the Union (reviewsbysammi.wordpress.com)

A Review of Todd D Hunter’s Our Favorite Sins

“The first decision you need to make as you put down this book is this: What do I really love? The second goes with it: What will I kick to the  curb?”

And Todd D Hunter, Founding Pastor and Bishop of Holy Trinity Anglican Church in Costa Mesa, California, encourages us to kick temptation to the curb and purse a wholehearted love of God in its place as he outlines some very practical yet historic ways of dealing with temptation.

Writing in a caring but honest style, Hunter takes recent research from George Barna which indicated a majority of Americans admit to dealing with “noticeable and debilitating temptation to anxiety or worry, and the fear and dysfunction that usually come with it;” are “stuck in habits of procrastination” and “simply cannot do what needs to be done in a timely manner;” and are “often or sometimes overwhelmed by the temptation to eat too much.” While between forty one and fifty percent survey face the temptation to “overuse social media” or that older generations  ”cannot tear themselves away from their phone and laptops;” and are also “tempted by laziness or by not working as hard as reasonably expected.”

Now you might be asking, “These are temptations? I thought temptations were things like lust, drunkenness, and the like not social media or overeating?”

Well, there is an obesity problem in America isn’t there? And there are issues with workplace reliability and productivity, correct? And what about the people who are terminated because of what they post on Facebook or Twitter about their jobs, companies, and supervisors?

Hunter responds to the Barna findings with the central suggestion that “disordered desires” are the core problem when it comes to the issue of temptation, and I believe, links such disorientation to character shortcomings and the need for a deeper, and more spiritual resolution and ultimately longer term approach to resolving these ever growing personal issues in our contemporary life.

Our Favorite Sins: The Sins We Commit and How You Can Quit, published by Thomas Nelson, takes the reader on a journey into the soul of a contemporary person with composite reflections about Anxious Annie, Procrastinating Preston, Eating Eddie, Media Mary, and Lazy Larry and the offers “seven modern and futile ways of thinking about and dealing with temptation.”  And he leads off the list with “underestimating the power of desire” while going on to challenge the view of “keeping it real” and failing to admit that we “are prone to wonder” among other attitudes and mindsets used to combat temptation.

Hunter then goes on to suggest ancient ways and practices of the Christian faith such as solitude and silence and then challenges the lie temptation gives out for us to believe and bite on. And along the way he unfolds the rich liturgical tradition that he adheres to and shares how it has helped him deal with misdirected desires that he has battled with throughout his life.

What I like about this book ultimately is that while he roots his practice of disciplined resistance to temptation in historical Christian practices and faith, he does so in a way that is not “preachy” but helpful, practical, and hopeful. And while a reader may not agree at all with Hunter’s views, I think that to dismiss his thoughts as too religious misses the point. For what Hunter is addressing, at least to me, is that temptation is a character issue which he argues by asking “What if pursuing the transformation of our inner character is the best way to reorganize life, to live well, to accomplish life’s tasks and responsibilities with peace?”

In my head I keep a list of about 12 books that I constitute as a personal core library. Most of them deal with the issue of the inner life which can also be called the issue of character. This book has joined that list of twelve.

I rate this book an ‘outstanding’ read.

Note: I was given a ePub copy of this book from Booksneeze, Thomas Nelson’s blogger review program in exchange for a review. I was not required to write a positive view.

Review of Leonard Sweet’s I Am A Follower

“Jesus wasn’t looking for leaders at all. Jesus was looking for followers.”

I am glad that these words have been written and that Leonard Sweet had the conviction to write them in his new book, I am A Follower: The Way, Truth, and Life of Following Jesus, published by Thomas Nelson.

This is a rich book full of nuggets that are too many to enumerate in this review. (My iBook copy is filled with electronic highlights that I will refer to again and again.) Using the triune reference of “The Way, The Truth, and The Life” which Christ makes in the New Testament gospel accounts, Sweet suggests that only Christ is the Leader and we are the followers.

In the heart of the book, Sweet cogently makes the case that the church needs to return to the practice of making disciples and not leaders. In the segment entitled “The Way” Sweet brings up missional living which he defines as simply walking with Jesus and then emphasizes a ‘Fruit of the Spirit’ perspective as speaks of “The Wayfarer’s” fruit of casting seeds of hope, heaven, love, joy, peace, patience, trust, and rest along the way.

In the section of “The Truth” the image of Big J (Jesus Himself) and little j (the follower of Jesus) is part of Sweet’s view that “Jesus did not come to change the world…Jesus came to save the world. He does not have truth or bring truth. Jesus “is” truth.” And he goes on to to suggest that Jesus, not celebrity leaders, is the center of our life of faith.

In the third section, “The Way” Sweet suggests that a change of role perspective from “Sages and Gurus to Scouts and Sherpas” and from “Number One Leader to Coach Ghost” is essential in discipling people in the way of Jesus. And in this section, he also suggests something that I started to believe last year, the need to move from trying to live a ‘balanced’ life and trying to live a ‘harmonious’ life instead as he says, “Is life a balancing act or a harmonious oscillation? Leadership literature says, “Seek balance.” But did Jesus live a balanced life? Or did Jesus catch people off balance and leave people unbalanced on the path of a harmonious life? Technically, neither the word balance nor harmony is found in the Bible. But the concept of harmony matches perfectly with the biblical understanding of the promised shalom. And certain passages can best be translated by the word harmony, as in “put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

This is a book that I will be reading again and I take away from it a greater desire and focus on helping others follow Christ and not me and not the latest program or person. I find it to be a very refreshing reminder that the work of pastors and layperson in the church is about helping people find and follow Jesus.

I give this book a five star rating.

Note: I received an electronic copy of this book from Thomas Nelson’s book blogger program, Booksneeze, in exchange for a review. I was not required to write a positive review.

Review of Softly and Tenderly by Sara Evans With Rachel Hauck

“‘Love keeps no record of wrong,’ Jade, if I recall Scripture accurately.”

“And ‘Thou shall not commit adultery,’ if I recall Scripture accurately,” Jade shot back.

With an unforgettable opening scene of shocking betrayal, Sara Evans along with Rachel Hauck, bring us back to Whisper Hollow, Tennessee and the life and times of Jade Fitzgerald Benson, whose tumultous story Evans and Hauck sketched for us in the first novel of this series,The Sweet By and By.

Softy and Tenderly picks up the now married Jade and, along with her husband, Max, father-in-law Reb and mother-in-law June, and Jade’s dying mother, Beryl, and toss them, and us, into a maelstrom of pain, betrayal, and faith as they navigate a series of personal revelations that drive Jade and June to Iowa as a way of gaining distance and perspective as well as taking Beryl home to die.

Well written, emotionally powerful, and fast paced in theme and style, and published by Thomas Nelson, Softly and Tenderly takes the reader into the heart of relationships, the choices we make, the things we hide, and the fallout that is sometimes made public and their cumulative effect on our level and ability to trust in our most imtimate of all relationships – marriage.

What I appreciate about this book is the simple honesty with which faith is brought into the story as a way of successfully coping and overcoming the heartache of infidelity as well as mistrust and personal disappointment without it appearing “preachy.” And the memorable scenes and characters of the book are another delight and I think that Sara has done a great job with deepening them in this second book.

If you enjoyed The Sweet By and By you will love Softly and Tenderly.

And I am very much looking forward to Love Lifted Me as well!

This book, and I think this series, would make a great reading club selection and I think that late High School and early adult women would enjoy it as well.

On my unofficial offical rating scale of 1 (poor) through 5 (great) I rate this as a 5. It is a great read!

Note: I received a free copy of this book to review as part of Thomas Nelson’s blogger review program, Booksneeze in exchange for a review. I was not required to write a positive review.

Thursday Review of John Perry’s Pershing: Commander of the Great War, 9.22.11

 

 

“To most of the millions of men he commanded during his career, John J. Pershing was not likeable in the least. He was instead an insufferable nitpicker obsessed with the smallest detail of military regimentation. Troops dreaded the sight of the massive limousine flying the four-star general’s flag. Its arrival meant a long list of deficiences in need of correcting immediately…”

 

So writes John Perry in the introduction of his biography of John J. “Black Jack” Pershing who commanded the American Expeditonary Force in World War One.

Born prior to the Civil War (and able to recall a battle that came to his home personally in Laclede, Missouri in 1864 near to his 4th birthday) and dying after the Second World War, Perry’s telling of Pershing and his life and accomplishments makes clear to this reviewer that he was a military officer who was a bridging figure in the conduct of war whose use of coordinated attacks and innovations such as the Military Police in World War 1 was the precursor of modern 20th century warfare.

Part of Thomas Nelson’s series The Generals, Perry introduces us to an American General he believes has fallen to either the “second or third tier of America’s historical consciousness” in part of because of his nitpiking ways. As he does so he also re-introduces us to the developments both domestically and internationally as well as militarily in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

Sympathetically and firmly written, Perry brings to the fore a portait of really two men: the demanding task master in uniform and the devoted and passionate man, husband, father, and… dancer who was rarely seen by those in uniform. In doing so he provides a diverse picture of Pershing.

This volume is a wonderful and shorter introduction to this American General that provides with helpful and necessary glimpses of his life and times. I have read other volumes in this series on Robert E. Lee and George S. Patton (who’s sister Nita was one of Pershing’s love interests after he became a widower) and I have found all three to be very helpful introductions to each of them.

On my scale of 1 (bad) and 5 (great) I give this book a 4 or ‘good’ read. An excellent book for middle school age and up.

(Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their Blogger Review program called Book Sneeze (www.booksneeze.com)  I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”)

Tuesday Book Review: Carolyn Weber’s Surprised by Oxford

“What’s your take on Jesus? TDH asked simply. “Do you know much about Him?” “Of course I know Jesus,” I practically guffawed. “Everyone knows Jesus… It suddenly occurred to me that apart from the cliched images or flat memories, I did not know who this Jesus was in 3-D… Talking to TDH I suspected my background resembled countless others nowadays in North American culture. Lots of astrology, but little theology.”

TDH, shorthand for “Talk Dark and Handsome” breaks into Carolyn Weber’s world with his pointed questions and through those questions, God enters Carolyn’s life and turns it upside down and she is Surprised by God and His grace at Oxford University.

Written in a  flowing and, at times, fast paced, first person account of Weber’s conversations with TDH  and others about faith, Surprised by Oxford is a book that gives the reader a sense of how a person comes to faith who has major objections and issues about God and life and family and the relational pain in her family that is a major stumbling block for some in coming to faith.

This is a book that highlights the process of coming to faith and not just when though it is clear in her book of the moment she crosses the line from unbelief to belief. It reveals the doubts, the fears, the anger, and the uncertainty of those who wrestle with the assertions made by the Christian faith.

It is a contemporary account of Christian conversion and it is a contemporary account of a one person’s struggle to rectify belief in a Heavenly Father while struggling to love and maintain a very strained relationship with an earthly father as well as the current cultural perceptions of Christ and Christianity.

Weber’s account is an honest account of coming to faith. But it is not a straightforward account. And it is not a straightforward account because, as she clearly writes, coming to faith for her (and for others) is not a straightforward movement. It is a series of starts and stops, of twists and turns that appears, at times, to come to a complete stop. And this is one of the strengths of the book.

I like this book because it provides me, one who made a profession of faith in Christ over 45 years ago, with a very honest and helpful account of the issues and struggles that many people, like Weber, have in coming to terms with who Jesus Christ is.

I rate this book a ’5′ a great read and recommend that you get it for someone who is struggling with faith issues.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free as an ebook from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their Blogger Review program called Book Sneeze (www.booksneeze.com) I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Related articles

• Book Review: Surprised by Oxford (susandelano.wordpress.com)

Tuesday Book Review of Mark Horne’s JRR Tolkien

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Book Review of Ian Morgan Cron’s Jesus, My Father, The CIA, and Me: A Memoir…of Sorts

“How can you tell when you’ve crossed the meridian that divides hatred and forgiveness? Is it when the dirt path beneath your feet, frozen by hard winter’s bitter wind, softens under summer’s grace? Or is it when words you’ve worked so hard long to free stroll out of the prison of your heart without your help and to you amazement speak for themselves?”

So asks Ian Morgan Cron, husband, dad of three, Episcopal priest, and a son of an alcoholic CIA agent, at the end of his memoir Jesus, My Father, The CIA, and Me, a memoir that chronicles his journey of 50 years to make sense of his father and peace with him as well.

Written in a blend of both first and third person narrative, it is a story  about cloak and dagger of the relational kind and not the kind related to national security. It is about a son and father who lives in privileged areas of the county but among such persons because of the precariousness of their financial status. It also about grace, God’s grace, showing up in the words of wise priests, in the stain of a leaky ceiling, in the flashback memories of drunken binges, and in the firm but loving stand of a counselor who ‘speaks the truth in love’ regarding Cron’s un-admitted alcoholism. It is a book about parenting and the challenges of finding grace and meaning in dysfunction and addiction that exist in families of all backgrounds.

Cron’s honest telling of not just his father’s life, who was a mystery and whose work was a mystery as he describes the moments after his father’s memorial service, but his own, includes some key insights into family life for today that are valuable for anyone and everyone: “Boys without fathers, or boys with fathers who for whatever reason keep their love undisclosed, begin life without a center of gravity. They float like astronauts in space, hoping to find ballast and a patch of earth where they can plant their feet and make a life. Many of us who live without these gifts that only a father can bestow go through life banging from guardrail to guardrail, trying to determine why our fathers kept their love nameless, as if ashamed.”

I had trouble putting this book down and I read it in only a few days because Cron’s story is one that many persons will relate to, as I could in parts.  A worthy read and one that I think should be read by those who are preparing for ministry due to the subject matter and the need for pastors to be aware of their own family dynamics.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free as an ebook from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their Blogger Review program called Book Sneeze (www.booksneeze.com) I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Tuesday Book Review: Larry Brooks’ Story Engineering

Please click on the link to read the review. Thanks!

http://wp.me/p1SvHt-19x